clear dark skies
Friday, December 4, 2009
as i sit here, in my dark room, looking up at the skies to where the rays of light that break the darkness in my room come from, i cant help but feel a bit scared, vulnerable even. As simple as it is, i love looking at the moon. Especially a full moon. surrounded by clusters of stars like glitter against the dark fabric of night. but i cant see all this without putting my curtains aside, without exposing a bit of my room to the outside world. Looking at the night sky, gives me a sense of peace and serenity, like everything that happened today was all worth getting through, because at the end of the day, you see such a beautiful sight that will just calm you into sleep. But as i gaze out my window, i wonder.. what if somebody else is looking at me, looking at the moon. this open window makes me so weak, and vulnerable, is it all worth it just to get a glance at something so beautiful?
so it got me thinking, just like life, we need to be able to show our weaknesses, to let ourselves be vulnerable, sometimes to even risk it all, just to experience the things that make us happy, that make us feel safe, and at peace with ourselves, even if it means exposing yourself, and risk getting hurt. Because for that small moment in time, you get to experience something bigger, than you, or anyone else. Yes, we all open that window, and sometimes we dont always get clear skies, it doesnt mean the clouds will never part... it doesnt mean that the sky wont clear up, but each time, we just keep on letting ourselves be exposed, be vulnerable, for something that might not even be there, for something so temporary. why ? because all that suffering is worth it. because feeling loved, and feeling at peace is everything, compared to all the small encounters we face everyday.
because opening that window, to let the light shine in, to see the moon and the stars, is worth risking getting hurt, or failing high hopes, because when it does happen, and you see the beautiful light, there is nothing more important than what you feel right then and there. that finally, everything, all the things that i went through, it was worth it.