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f y i

Blog since: APR09
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Credits: 1 2 3 4

Mmm watcha say ?

So let me in
give me another chance
To really be your girl.
Cause when the roof caved in
and the truth came out
I just didn't know what to do
But when I become a star
we'll be living so large
I'll do anything for you
So tell me boy
mmmm watcha say ?

Time Travel + Acceptance
Monday, July 6, 2009

turning back time, is impossible.
you cant bring back what you had from the past.

being accepted, is just as important as being rejected.

it's quite obvious..
but I had to hear it from a priest to actually drill it in my head.

what's the point of tryna get it back.
either forget about it..
or make something better..

what is the point of being so self-conscious?
and tryna get people to like you..
being soo..paranoid all the time.
basing life on temporary things that dont last forever..
things that end in rejection & tears.

Point is, there is no point.

I'm glad I went to mass today.
it's been long since I've last gone.
but I think I was meant to hear that.

I'm an insecure, self conscious, paranoid, low self-esteemed freak.

but it's nothing but the materialistic things that I jam in my head..
all day everyday that make me this way. I, myself make me this way.

But there's no point.

I'm so stubborn.
though I've proven..
that those, and ONLY those that have seen..
my "true colors", are the ones that stick.
the ones that I dont need to "try" for.
are the ones that stay..

Still, I seek for other people's approval.
as if I always need to prove something.
that I'm better, that I'm perfect.
prove that I'm smart, I can sing, I can dance, I can act.
I can do EVERYTHING, if i wanted to.
But, at the end of the day.. it doesnt matter.

As much as I want to turn back time to when I felt..
"Accepted", it's not worth it. cuz those people that "Accepted" me..
those people that I had to "try" for, to impress, seeking for approval.
couldn't, wouldn't, didn't stick around.

Now, as rejected as I feel from the others that shouldnt matter.
I know I have the people that DO matter.
the people that I actually matter to.

But even after knowing all this,
I'm human. I find it hard.
I know I'll make it, someday..

"Doubt sees the obstacles, Faith sees the way..."